she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
