i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
