would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
