Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
