nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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