Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
