I'm eating all of the evidence.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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