Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
