Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
