well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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