you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
