i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
