she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize