I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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