that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
