Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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