Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
