3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
