you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
