Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
