I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
