Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???