Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.

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  (630): I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me. http://tfl.nu/s161
  Replies (71) Good night (4208) Bad night (1809)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  only in oregon

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  (541): at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking (1-541): only in oregon http://tfl.nu/1bea
  Replies (156) Good night (7513) Bad night (1048)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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  (816): I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/e1lf
  Replies (50) Good night (832) Bad night (6473)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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  (610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i
  Replies (17) Good night (6660) Bad night (1646)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4552) Bad night (1494)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

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  (225): Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt http://tfl.nu/3ulw
  Replies (17) Good night (2106) Bad night (3124)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

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  (412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf
  Replies (14) Good night (7676) Bad night (897)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

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  (817): I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night. http://tfl.nu/xdj6
  Replies (7) Good night (1407) Bad night (791)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.

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  (616): All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good. http://tfl.nu/bkrn
  Replies (2) Good night (3448) Bad night (693)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick

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  (215): he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick http://tfl.nu/z2ix
  Replies (13) Good night (701) Bad night (1650)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized

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  (217): Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized http://tfl.nu/ymju
  Replies (7) Good night (1927) Bad night (789)
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  (845): View more from New York

  New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.

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  (845): New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work. http://tfl.nu/j014
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (305)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.

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  (773): who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this. http://tfl.nu/j8g2
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (231)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.

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  (+61): Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer. http://tfl.nu/u2pr
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (260)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options

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  (847): Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options http://tfl.nu/gw1j
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (259)

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