I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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