We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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