I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard