David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You have to summon your inner elephant
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.