Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
