Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
