I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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