Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
