2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
