If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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