So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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