Got a toothbrush?
Screwed.edu
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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