i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
