break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
