The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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