Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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