Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
