Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
