Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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