all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
