I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Text me some of your sweat
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
