I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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