Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
