So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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