i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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