i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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