i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
