Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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