My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
