you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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