No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
