I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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