their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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