butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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