i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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