I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
