I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
