yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
