Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
