I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
