sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
actually, I'm a sock model
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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