My friends, they love my intelligence
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
