hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize